guDnighT saYang~

Tonight is not a great night for me.

well, at least for me.

this will be the first entry that 

i'll be writing in English. The second entry will be in Bahasa..

and the third will be back in English, so on n so forth.

nway.. back to the 'so-called' night..

hmm.. i don't know where to start.. 

well, to be honest, tonight is not the only part that i feel rather bad.

it's actually this one particular day.

One

Whole

day.

well, actually, i'm supposed to be fasting today, for instance..

n yet i don't because of certain reason that i can't

particularly highlight because i'm afraid that it'll bring me tons of questions after this.

fuuh!

and there i goes.. walking into the class.. and yadda yadda.. 

there's nothing really interesting happens today,

except for i regret something that i did..

in which was particularly unforgivable.

it's not as serious as it sounds actually..

but i really regret what i did..

well.. i prayed for that so-called person to be.. well..

u know.. i'm not going to explain everything coz

this will lead to another of my secrets! hehe

to cut it short, i always prayed so that  i could see

the said person always..

n when i did see the said person..

i did nothing.

can u believe that??

i just played dumb.

this is soo ME!

well, the said person did looked at me, i think (-well how should i know exactly when i'm not even looking?!)

it's always like that.

i didn't have any chance to speak.. or talk to the said person..

well it's mostly because i didn't know what to say.. or talk..

huhu

that's why my friends always do the talking, n

i'll be left out in silence..

n people called me the quiet types..

can u believe that?

me?

quiet??

hah! 

it's just that, i really gets nervous when i'm around the said person..

i can't look into the said person's eyes.. let alone to say something!

all i can do is just to smile.

smile.

and just now i meet the said person..

n i pretend not to see him.

what an attitude.

it's not like i'm avoiding..

it's because i'm shy.

am i?

am i a shy person?

if u ask Liyana Ruslan, then she'll say yes.

but if u ask my classmates, then they'll say NO.

why is that?

because my classmates are all girls..

n i am not really shy around the same gender. i do on the opposite.

i'm afraid really.

if i goes around, acting like

i don't care.. well..

didn't u think that the said person will get the

wrong impression?

well, i think the said person already did.

it's hard being me.

why didn't i put away my ego just for a second..

n do what i want to do??

dang it!

anyway.. i hope the said person will be happy no matter 

what he does..

that he'll be just fine..

so long n gudnight!!