peLik~

"You're connected to him..

in a different way.. n 

You seemed happy when he's around.."

Ayat ni sebenarnye ..

ayat kawan aku. Dia yg cakap kat

aku ayat ni.. Mungkin jugak aku yg berpura2 tak paham..

Sebab aku pun konfius..

adakah aku faham apa yg ingin disampaikannye?

mm.. 

Orang kata, ego yang kuat ni susah..

Dan aku adalah salah seorang

dari org yg kuat ego tu..

Mungkin bagi yg tak kenal aku

akan kate..

"alaa.. ni perkara biase.. sume org ade ego,"

Betul.

Tapi tak seego aku.

Aku akui. 

Kalau ade pertandingan wanita ego sedunia,

kalau x dpt johan,

naib johan tu mmg dalam tangan aku lah~

It's just that,

don't expect to judge me from my looks~

I might look okay and nice in front..

but i'm really stubborn.. keras kepala..

Bak kata kawan2.. aku ni ketegaq.

degil.

tolol.

ape2je lah..

aku tak nafikan

yg aku ni mmg teruk..

aku selalu buat org risau..

kdg2, bila aku rasa sedih..

aku senyap n akan beri kesan kat org2 sekeliling aku~

dan bila diorang tanya..

jangan harap aku akan jawab...

itu perangai aku yg mmg aku x dpt

nak ubah dah~

ma kate, dari kecik aku mmg camtu..

suke pendam perasaan..

bila dah tak tahan, mulalah nak meletup..

nanti semua keluar..

pasal tu lah, pasal nilah..

haha~

pernah satu ketika dulu,

aku merajuk~

seharian aku tak bercakap..

ma punyelah risau.. sbb aku tak makan..

kesian ma..

aku ni jahat, kan?

mungkin sbb aku ni anak sulung,

dah tu pompuan sorang~

so, spoiled sikit..

mungkin...

sbb tu kadang2.. kalau aku merajuk~

family aku akan buat tak tahu je..

sbb nanti aku akn ok sndiri~

pastu aku bercakap la balik..

satu je pasal aku ni..

aku marah tak lama..

aku tak boleh marah lama2..

paling lama pun, sehari je..

sbb aku tak tahan kalau kene pujuk.. hehe

cepat cair.. 

abah la yg paling pandai pujuk aku~

tme kecik2 dulu, kalau

aku marah, dia akan buat lawak..

n aku akan tak jadi nak marah~

aku akan gelak kuat2..

aku rindukan saat2 tu..

aku ni kuat merajuk, kate org..

kate kwn2 aku, emo..

kate ma abah aku, sensitip..

huhu..

kadang2.. dengar muzik pun aku 

boleh menangis..

tgk citer nangis..

bace novel pun boleh nangis..

tulis blog pun boleh nangis.. 

korang tak rasa aku ni pelik ke?

perasaan aku ssah nak dijangka..

kejap aku sedih..

pastu bile dah lupa kesedihan tu,

aku hepi.. dah x ingat dah

pasal sedih td..

korg tgk aku hepi kat luar

tak semestinye hati aku hepi..

kdg2 aku sedih..

tapi tak mmpu nak luahkan..

so aku tulis blog..

tapi dlm blog pun takleh nak tulis bukan2..

so.. ape nak buat~ mcm ni je lah..

kdg2 aku rase,

setiap entri yg aku buat ni, sbb

aku rase sedih..

ntahlah~ 

-haih-

baik aku muhasabah diri..

KemBaLi TerjaLin

Slam - Kembali Terjalin...

Seperti mimpi 

perkenalan itu cuma seketika
Namun didalam hati 

dirimu ku terkenang jua
Engkaulah permata 

didalam genggaman tidak kusedari
Kaca yang bersadur keemasan

terus kucari

Tertutup pintu hati, 

minda tak berfungsi diketika itu
Tak tahu menilai 

mana yang tulin mana yang palsu
Diakhir-akhir ini

ketika aku dalam kesepian
Terasa kejahilan itu bagiku 

satu kerugian

Andainya disitu ada ruang
Bolehkah kiranya kumenumpang
Andai ada sisa kemaafan..
Maafkan diri ini 

yang dulu melukakan

Berilah aku kesempatan
Kubuktikan erti keikhlasan
Andainya terpaksa aku rela
Menepis ego aku untuk kita 

(demi suatu masa)

Kupohon darimu ketulusan hati
Menjalin kembali 

perhubungan suci...

drEams?

actually, it's not a very good day

either to me.. well..

i've been having these weird dreams

about someone..

this dreams had been for three days!

but of course,

not the same dream-lah..

but the person inside the dreams were the same..

and i can't really recall

what's the dream about..

well, most probably because i usually don't

remember dreams so much..

but then, i noticed that the dreams were 

not bad.. meaning that..

they're not  "nightmare" kind of dreams..

which means they were good dreams..

and so i heard that...

if u dream something that is a good dream, do not

tell others except for the people you loved..

Hadith - Bukhari 9:168, Narrated Abu Salama R.A

I used to see a dream which would make me sick till I heard Abu Qatada saying,

"I too, used to see a dream which would make me sick till I heard the Prophet S.A.W  saying,

"A good dream is from Allah, so if anyone of you saw a dream which he liked, he should not tell it to anybody except to the one whom he loves, and if he saw a dream which he disliked, then he should seek refuge with Allah from its evil and from the evil of Satan, and spit three times (on his left) and should not tell it to anybody, for it will not harm him."

Bad Dreams Should Not Be Disclosed

Muhammad (S) said, ...If he has a dream that he dislikes, then it is from Syaitan. He should seek refuge with Allah from its evil, and he SHOULD NOT MENTION IT TO ANYBODY, then it will not harm him." (Sahih Al-Bukhari) If one does tell somebody about the bad dream then there could be the chance that some harm will come out of it. 

and yes it is..

because it's been a blur to me..

so i can't share my dreams..

but all i can say is that

from my opinion it's okay to share your dreams

but share only good ones so that we will

feel grateful to Allah for giving us good dreams

that makes our sleep better instead

of giving nightmares.. hehe

I have a story to share..

It's based from a person's experience in which she

had told me before..

This girl was a normal and just a simple girl..

if you can see, there's many  other girl that

is far more pretty, more beautiful than her.. 

(not that i'm sayin she's ugly. but she's a sweet girl..)

but she was very funny, and was a really easy-going person..

If you want me to describe her, 

i think the more appropriate word is that she is very shy.

around boys.

 (just like me! haha)

Anyway, she prayed all night so that 

she will get a 'soleh' husband.. that if the man

was meant for her, then let her see him..

but if he's not meant for her then, keep him away from her..

it's like our typical everyday 'doa'..

but she put all her effort on that..

and one day, at night, she dreams about

a desert.. but on the desert there were two people.

one was herself, and the other one was a 'he'.

she struggled to remember his face,

but she failed. All she remember was a mole on his left hand,

in which she finds it familliar..

Clueless about the dream,

she ignored it.

The other night, she went to sleep a bit early

and had another dream..

This time, there was this place so familiar

with books. she only managed to remember one letter 'S'

and the book had a picture of ring on it.

2 months after that, she got an offer 

to Cairo University, under the Faculty of Medicine.

And one day, there's this one man

her friend, came by to her house..

with his parents..

and she was 'proposed'.

The man had a mole on his left hand..

A very nice man, which is her classmate, (no wonder that she finds the mole familiar..)

And the man, also got an offer to the same University, under the same Faculty..

And his family gave her a ring, a very nice golden ring.. hehe

And yeah, his name is Saiful, and he's a librarian back in the school days.

see where the dreams got her to?

huhu

i wish i had that kind of dreams..

that only i'll know how my husband looked like..

the latest news i heard that

they will be getting married by the end of this year..

Good for her..

I hope the marriage will be blessed.

Aminnn~

Polly-Gummy?

hmm hmm.. hari ni adelah hari kedua..

yg mane entri aku akn ditulis dlm Bahasa. hehe

agak gembire la sbb kalo mcm ni

boleh tulis bnyk ckit.. wakaka..

ape2pun.. hari ni aku nak berkongsi ape

yg lecturer aku katekan..

Lecturer aku yg ajar kelas kitorang

Language Development untuk Sem 3

ni adelah en. Yahya..

kitorg pnggil dia Papa Ya.. hehee.

got it? papaya?

hehe

ape2pun.. kitorg punye topik pg tadi

adelah sbnarnye berkisar tentang forum..

ntah macam mane lah kan, terkeluar isu 

POLIGAMI..

hehe..

tipula kalo aku kate aku excited pasal poligami2 nih~

sbb aku mmg pantang,

i repeat.. pantang kalo laki gatal nak berbini dua nih~

sori la ye kaum lelaki.. x yah la amik aku jd isteri.. huhu nnti x leh kawin dua.. haha

ape2pun.. satu yg buat aku terfikir adalah apabila 

en Yahya mengajukan soalan,

"kalau lah awk diberi peluang, maksudnye kat sini

diberi peluang untuk berada di tempat seorang wanita

yg sangat mencintai lelaki ini.

namun.. dia ni adalah suami org.. sanggupkah anda jadi bini no 2?"

rata2 kelas kami jawab tak nak. hehe..

tapi dia sambung lagi.

"andaikata pulak kalau dia ni seorang Datuk yg kaya raya?"

yg ni, kitorang pikir sikit sblum nak jwb. Yg mane ade setengah jwb ye,

stengah jwb tak.. Nampak sgt mata duitan. tapi betullah..

nak kawin kena ade kemampuan..

 Iyelah, kalau dah name penarik beca, tapi nak kawin 4..

melampau la tu~ bini sorang pun tak tertanggung.. (no offense kpd sape2 ye)

En Yahya pun tinggalkan soalan tu kejap. Dia tanye,

"kenape populasi org wanita yg jd 

anak dara tua meningkat?"

maka dengan otomatiknye kami pun jawab, 

"mestilah sbb bilngan pompuan ramai dari lelaki, sir.."

en yahya mengangguk paham. Pastu dia tanye lagi. 

" Kalau seorang lelaki dibenarkan kawin 4 awak 

agak2 benda ni terjadi tak?"

Hah! tu dia!

Soklan cepumash!

dia pun cakap lagi, "sbnrnye, kalau seorng lelaki itu adil, dan

berkemampuan, maka dia boleh kawin 2, 3 dan 4.."

katanye lagi dalam surah an nisa' bahawasanya,

Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala berfirman:

وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُوا فِي الْيَتَامَى فَانْكِحُوا مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِنَ 

النِّسَاءِ مَثْنَى وَثُلاَثَ وَرُبَاعَ فَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تَعْدِلُوا فَوَاحِدَةً أَوْ مَا مَلَكَتْ أَيْمَانُكُمْ ذَلِكَ أَدْنَى أَلاَّ تَعُولُوا

“Dan jika kalian khawatir tidak akan dapat 

berlaku adil terhadap hak-hak perempuan yatim (bilamana kalian menikahinya), 

maka nikahilah wanita-wanita lain yang kalian senangi: dua, tiga, atau empat. 

Kemudian jika kalian khawatir tidak dapat berlaku adil 

maka nikahilah seorang wanita saja atau budak-budak perempuan 

yang kalian miliki. Yang demikian itu lebih dekat untuk

kalian tidak berlaku aniaya.” (An-Nisa`: 3)

hmm.. mmg ramai wanita yg x sanggup nak 

bermadu kasih..

tak dinafikan aku pun mcm tu..

kalau aku, aku x kn la semulia tu...

tapi kita tak tahu ape yg akn berlaku kn?

huhu.. mungkin satu hari nnti kalau bnda ni terjadi,

aku akn faham~ 

en. yahya pun berkata,

"kalau kamu cube letakkan diri kamu pada

tempat balu2, janda2 yg merana.. yg miskin sbb tak de org nak jage.."

so, kami pun bayangkanlah..

"takkan lah janda2 tu nak expect org bujang, sbb mereka pun janda..

jd, nak tak nak, kawin la ngan suami org.. sbb nak cari

yg same2 duda pun susah..

kalaulah kamu tak punya pilihan.. mahukah kamu

bertindak sedemikian?"

sungguh, kami x pikir sampai tahap tu pun.. huhu

"kalau dah ade offer nak amik kamu jadi bini no 2 datuk,

kamu pulak dah takde pilihan sbb

anak2 kamu pun kene bersekolah,

makan pakai nak kena tanggung..

mahukah kamu menerimanya?"

pada saat ni, mungkin kami akan jawab ya aje. huh. dah 

x de pilihan, nk wat cane kan?

"manakala kalau kamu dipihak isteri pertama yg

cemburu, kamu tak benarkan

suami kamu menikahi wanita itu,

tidakkah kamu rasa itu agak kejam?"

pikir2 balik.. betul jugak.

hmm.. ape2 pun,

kami dapat info yg amat berguna

pada hari ni..

please notice that,

semua perbualan2 ni adalah dalam

bahasa inggeris sbnrnye..

oleh krn ak kne tulis entri bhs melayu,

so aku translatekan.. hehehee

harap2nye aku takkan jadi org yg kejam..

walaupun aku juga meragui diri sendiri..

mampukan aku untuk jd begitu?

merelai perkongsian suami..?

hmm.. aku harap ape2 aje

yg aku buat x kan mmbuatkan aku menyesal

di kemudian hari..

lalalaaa~

guDnighT saYang~

Tonight is not a great night for me.

well, at least for me.

this will be the first entry that 

i'll be writing in English. The second entry will be in Bahasa..

and the third will be back in English, so on n so forth.

nway.. back to the 'so-called' night..

hmm.. i don't know where to start.. 

well, to be honest, tonight is not the only part that i feel rather bad.

it's actually this one particular day.

One

Whole

day.

well, actually, i'm supposed to be fasting today, for instance..

n yet i don't because of certain reason that i can't

particularly highlight because i'm afraid that it'll bring me tons of questions after this.

fuuh!

and there i goes.. walking into the class.. and yadda yadda.. 

there's nothing really interesting happens today,

except for i regret something that i did..

in which was particularly unforgivable.

it's not as serious as it sounds actually..

but i really regret what i did..

well.. i prayed for that so-called person to be.. well..

u know.. i'm not going to explain everything coz

this will lead to another of my secrets! hehe

to cut it short, i always prayed so that  i could see

the said person always..

n when i did see the said person..

i did nothing.

can u believe that??

i just played dumb.

this is soo ME!

well, the said person did looked at me, i think (-well how should i know exactly when i'm not even looking?!)

it's always like that.

i didn't have any chance to speak.. or talk to the said person..

well it's mostly because i didn't know what to say.. or talk..

huhu

that's why my friends always do the talking, n

i'll be left out in silence..

n people called me the quiet types..

can u believe that?

me?

quiet??

hah! 

it's just that, i really gets nervous when i'm around the said person..

i can't look into the said person's eyes.. let alone to say something!

all i can do is just to smile.

smile.

and just now i meet the said person..

n i pretend not to see him.

what an attitude.

it's not like i'm avoiding..

it's because i'm shy.

am i?

am i a shy person?

if u ask Liyana Ruslan, then she'll say yes.

but if u ask my classmates, then they'll say NO.

why is that?

because my classmates are all girls..

n i am not really shy around the same gender. i do on the opposite.

i'm afraid really.

if i goes around, acting like

i don't care.. well..

didn't u think that the said person will get the

wrong impression?

well, i think the said person already did.

it's hard being me.

why didn't i put away my ego just for a second..

n do what i want to do??

dang it!

anyway.. i hope the said person will be happy no matter 

what he does..

that he'll be just fine..

so long n gudnight!!

Promise!

ookayy~
i've seen, uh, read sumone's blog today.. (kind of secretively >-<)
and i'm quite ashamed.
not really ashamed of what's her writing about, (yeah, it's a she, tQ XD)
and also not ashamed for doing it secretively, (hey, a blog is to be read, rite?? XD)
but it's because all of her writings were..
well, in English. Pure and very.. GOOD English.

i'm taken aback. not really REALLY taken aback, it's like the metaphor for that.. haha


but i kind of heard my pride falling..
exactly breakin into pieces, fallin to the ground, flying outside the window--blah blah blah..

well, i'm a TESL-ian.
and yet, what did i do?


i do blogs..?
yup2.. correct..
but the point is, i wrote my entries in.. well, BAHASA!

and to make it worst,
in Bahasa Rojak! (u can say what u want, like i care. call it bhs pasar or whatsoever.)
and my blog is.. honestly saying..
is a rubbish.

like this one. but only this time it's a blog. hehehe

Point taken, shira. yes, u r a dumb. =-=''
u should be aware to use the language properly..
n yet u wrote blog in BM?! (no offense for anyone)
well, nothing's wrong with Bahasa actually.
i just feel.. well..
a little humiliated..
for not being more, how can i put this..
for not being a good TESL-ian.

yes. that's the thing.



really really honestly saying..
i don't know what to put in this blog..
i can't go around and spill all my secrets in my blog, can I?
well, i CAN do that..
but then it will be like, a stupid thing to do.

well.

i'm not smart either.>-<

anyway.. back to the said girl..
well, her blog was like, amazing!
i just, kind of popped into her Facebook account and saw her
url address from her profile..
so i was like,
why not just give it a try?
no harm done.
u're just reading. hehehe



uh...

mm.. well..


okay fine.
so i admit.
i knew that girl. hurrah!
i purposely went to her page and read her blog.

i repeat. i purposely!


i'm so wretched.



anywayyyy..

i like her style of writing.
haven't i mentioned that i write fanfics too?
well, i'm still an amateur.. well, need a lot of training..
but honestly,
i get my style of writing by
being so obsessed by the fanfics.

to be exact, anime fanfics.

Usually, i'm not really into korean fanfics..
but then recently.. i'm kinda..
well, trapped into 'em. hehe


well, her style was like.. pretty casual.
and i like that. one thing that made me rather.. amused was that
she was able to pour everything of her mind into her blog.
me?
i'm different.
i'm not into 1st person p.o.v. (point of view)..

i don't know why, but
when i write 1st person p.o.v,
my writing would be like.. well.. this entry. haha
very plain.. and NOTHING.

that's why i'm into omniscience p.o.v.
haha~ i love taking advantages of my characters.
for example, i can make anything to be a reality.
not really a reality. but a reality in the fic. hehhee



well, i have a promise to make.
i, Nurul Syahirah.. hereby promised that i
will try to write entries in English.
Keywords. "will try". hehehe

or maybe my entries can be like, one in English and one in Bahasa.
well. no harm done.
i can do that.
hehhehehe

kunG-SeE?

hm.. berkongsi?

ape yg aku nak kongsikan kali ni adalah..

jeng-jeng-jeng~ hehe

what do u expect me to share..? hmm?

oh well.. 

actually kan.. aku tak pernah cite pun pasal famili aku, kan..?

haha.. mesti korg cam tertanye2.. 

anak spe la dia ni..

x penah pulak tulis pasal famili..

biaselah..

can't change the way i am..

aku ni kan perahsia cikit.. huhu

tak banyak pun yg aku nak kongsikan kat sini

pasal famili aku..

huhu.. gambar2 pun x de.. sbb kami jenis yg x suke amik gmbr..

lagipun..

sbb masalah2 yg x dpt dielakkan..

maka.. gambar2 lame je lah yg ade.. huhu

aku diberi name

nurul syahirah.. yg bermaksud ter'sohor' dan ter'nama'.. hehe

yg tu mmg x dpt dinafikan-lah.. haha..

dibintikan kepade name ayahku yg hensem, ibrahim.. huhu

bukan nak puji..

tapi abah mmg hensem dari dulu sampai sekarang.. ma pun same..

ni ikhlas ni..

kalao korang x caye, tgk je gmbar ma n abah aku zaman dolu2..

same cantik, same padan.. huhu

tapi knapelah genetik abah n ma tak lekat kat anak dia yg sulung ni.. huhu

anak sulung diorang ni biase2 je..

haha.. dah la gelap.. fuhhh~

yg tu x leh blah.. huhu

tapi x pe.. asalkan cantik di hati sudaa.. huhu

adik aku yg skrang ni umo 18 thun..

name dia muhammad syafiq..

kalo korang bijak.. tekalah ape mksud name dia..

....

aku tahu korang kurang arif.

so, meh nak gtaw..

hehe..

syafiq maksud dia penyayang dan belas kasihan..

memang adik aku ni seorang yg lembut orgnye..

bukan la aww sotong tuuhh~

tapi jiwa dia lembut.. 

dia skang ni ade kat Taylor's College..

buat persediaan nak pi Canada tahun depan..

huhu

yg akak dia ni.. kat maktab je.. haha~

adik aku yg sorg lagi pulak,

umo 15 tahun..

tahun ni PMR..  kite tgk la dia dpt brape ye..

name diberi, muhammad syahmie,

maksudnye berani dan bijak.. hehe

kalo bab berani tu mmg..

dia la yg paling berani.. n kalau sbut yg paling cepat marah..

pun dia jugak.. haha

adik aku yg paling bongsu..

baru je umo 13 tahun..

bru je form 1....

baru je nak berjinak2 ngan sekulah menengah..

biaselah kalau adik bongsu.. mmg manja.. sangat manja..

dan mengade!

hhaha.. abah aku bg dia name

muhammad saiful asyraf..

maksudnye pedang yg mulia..

haha.. kalau cakap pasal pedang.. mmg ade persamaannye ngan adik aku nihh..

kurusnye kalah pedang! hahaa

ma aku diberi name hamidah bt yaacob..

dia sgtlah pandai memasak.. hehe

semua skill2 memasak yg aku ade..

sume dia yg ajarkan..

dari buat kek, kuih..

sampai masak gulai.. semualah~ eheehe

dan aku rase bnyk lagi resepi2 dia yg aku x pernah cuba..

insyaAllah kalau ada mase nnti.. hehe

ma aku ni dia badan lemah sikit..

lgipun, dia ni sakit..

huhu sbb tu la kalo korg nmpk aku emo ckit ni..

x lain x bukan, sbb ma aku la..

mungkin bkn selalu.. tapi kebanyakannye sbb fmily..

ye lah.. abah aku kerja.. adik2 sekolah..

adik aku syafiq duk kat subang jaya.. aku x de kat umah..

then sape nk jage ma..

hmm..

tu la.. sume pun ade masalah sendiri..

abah aku pulak, dia seorang yg sangat rajin..

dia rajin kerja.. 

satu sikap dia yg aku paling tabik..

dia sgt syg kt ma aku..

sbb tu kalau ak nak cr suami..

aku nak yg mcm abah..

yg sygkn aku smpai bila2..

walaupun dah tua....

hai.. stakat gaji 4 ribu kalau dah ma sakit..

adik2 pun banyak belanje..

bnyk mane sgt la gaji tu..

x cukup2 nye.. huhuuhuhu

hmm.. ape2pun..

itulah serba sedikit yg dapat aku kongsikan pasal famili aku..

x leh nak cite bnyk2..

kang x pasal2 ade org stalk aku.. hheehe 

 pe2 pun.. chiow~

aku sayang FAMILI akUUU!!